jock2 is the greatest expert on these boxes (and beyond). Without him, these builds wouldn't exist because he taught me a lot. So the options he used are 100% the best.
I'll try to make some changes and send you a build to test.
For the options you can use in the dts unfortunately u-boot legacy is not well documented so the only way is to look at the driver
u-boot/drivers/mmc/rockchip_dw_mmc.c at next-dev · rockchip-linux/u-boot
U-Boot tree for pending commits. Contribute to rockchip-linux/u-boot development by creating an account on GitHub.
github.com
However, from what I understand, the emmc that your box has is of a particular type and requires some precautions (I think the option that makes it work is the max-frequency option)