I tried unplugging the AVR to TV connection and it didn't make a difference.
For the test only configuration, that does work but is limited to HDMI 1.4a which is 4k @ 30 fps. This is what I described in the first paragraph at the start.
It is acting like the NUC is not passing the bitstream audio to the HDMI output when connected to the splitter but it is passing non-bitstream audio. Since the splitter works fine with bitstream audio and my Vero 4K+ running Kodi, and the fact that non-bitstream audio works fine from the NUC points the problem back back to the NUC and I believe something in the Intel drivers. When I have passthrough bitstream enabled in Kodi and going through the splitter my AVD sees a 7.1 HDMI signal but just no audio comes out.