So from what i have read there is no dual monitor support for LibreELEC?
No. There is no dual monitor support for Kodi, other than "Clone" support where all displays are using the same resolution and refresh rate with the same video screen content. This goes for Windows as well as any Linux flavor.
On generic PC's, you can have multiple monitors display Kodi, but again, in clone mode only. The RPi-4B does have a dual monitor output (RPi OS supports it), but because of the current rendering solution used by Kodi (GBM vs x11) on the RPi, there is no dual monitor option possible.
can you make it any harder? should i get a phd in computer programming to figure this out?
Sure, that's doable. I'm sure the PhD will also benefit you in one way or another. LibreELEC never set out to be a full OS replacement. Kodi runs on so much different hardware, it cannot account for every little detail. So, some personal handywork from its user may be required to fit personal wishes. It represents the hands-on approach for the user, rather than a holding-hands tactic by Kodi.
You could perhaps try to remap a key on your remote to ultimately have the system run scripts that change whatever screen setting you need.
I was uisng Zorin OS before this with Kodi and takes two seconds to adjust the screen and Zorin OS supports 1920x1080. What a waste of my time to install LibreELEC. OpenELEC worked so much better.
Zorin is an Ubuntu-based Linux distribution. The Kodi basics also apply with that OS. If you can change the output on a 2nd monitor or TV via xrandr or other tools that work for you, knock yourself out. But OpenELEC was no different from LibreELEC in that regard. Kodi (or XBMC) never supported multi-monitor setups with individual screen content or refresh rates.
LibreELEC in my opinion leaves a lot to be desired.
We can't please everyone. On the other hand, we have already pleased many thousands of other people.