Wait...what?!
No, you are correct. This is a 2GB. I'm sure I ordered an 8GB because my 2GB Pi4 has been OOM'ing and it was worth the $30 difference to not have to deal with that crud. The invoice says 2GB though.
What a cluster.
Anyway, I appreciate the help, y'all. I hope this thing will be ok with 2GB because I don't feel like going around and around with Cana on this. Particularly after the SD card reader they shipped with the kit was so unreliable.
This plus my PiKVM having a hardware failure after only a few months. This might be it for me and Pis.
I guess it's off to Lilliputing to see what other SBC form-factor comes close for power consumption and ecosystem. I keep seeing other ARMs popping up...