I'm using an RPi5 with an LG 4K OLED set. I don't see these issues. I also didn't see them in the past with an RPi4 either. However I never enabled 4K@60 modes because I have no 4K@60 media other than a few test files, and I suspect that 99% of people enabling 4K@60 modes "because, more is better, no?" similarly have no actual need to enable them. I also have all the HDMI sockets on the LG enabled for deep-colour modes (which changes their HDMI capabilities) and I am only using 4K60 certified cables between RPi and AVR, and AVR and TV. I also follow the configuration recommended in the 4K-HDR wiki article (which I wrote).
Some of the items in your initial descriptions read like "user didn't read the manual" issues. Others sound like insufficient PSU and/or cables - all of which are helped by NOT enabling 4K60 modes and using the right HDMI ports (they are not all equal).
NB: We do occasionally see users complaining about media with weird encodings that an RPi board will not play, but that's usually media they stole/torrented so isn't something we care about investigating. If it's only a handful of own-source files that cause issues you can always use tools like Handbrake to fix the weird encoding and make things playable.