Ok... well did a bunch more reading and testing and finally came up with the solution.. first it was the fact that I was trying to play a movie from a dvd player plugged into the Rpi.. this still seems to be a problem.. but may come down to a codec..
Originally I had missed the option in the /settings/system menu and selecting the the headphone jack option because it was not highlight to be able to change.
Once you add this... "Add the line , dtparam=audio=on " to the config.txt file.. you can then go back to the setting/system menu and select the output headphone jack option..
At this point you should or at least I did.. start hearing " system " sounds.. if you hear this the this has worked..
As for playing a dvd movie... that's a tomorrow problem..